Back to school

This time of year brings back lots of wonderful childhood memories. I always looked forward to the start of school. It was an exciting time. One of the things that made it exciting for me was shopping for school supplies. I'm not sure why that was such a big deal, but it was fun trying to find just the right pencil box, loose-leaf notebook, and other school accessories. Of course, notebook paper was one of the most important ingredients in an effective back-to-school ensemble. When Mom picked up one package, I always wanted to get two. You can never have too much notebook paper!

As a parent, "back-to-school" is still an exciting time, but for a whole different set of reasons. My kids have been blessed tremendously with having wonderful teachers every year. From Ashley's kindergarten year down in Georgetown, all the way up to this school year at T. C. Wilemon for both Ashley and Justin, we have been blessed with exceptional teachers who have made learning an enjoyable adventure for our children.

But teachers cannot do the job by themselves. No matter how much training and preparation a teacher has had, no matter how many educational degrees they have under their belt, no matter the amount of talent with which God has blessed your child's teacher, there is one essential ingredient in your child's education that even the greatest teacher in the world cannot give your child. That ingredient is you, the parent.

Your child's teacher may have graduated from the most prestigious educational institution in the country (that would be Texas A&M, of course!), she may possess powers of motivation that rival those of Zig Ziglar or Anthony Robbins, he may be the greatest math teacher or band director to ever walk the face of the earth. It may be that you could not have asked for a better teacher for your child (as we have experienced so many times), yet without YOUR involvement in your child's education, a critical piece of the educational puzzle is missing. And that piece cannot be provided by anyone except you.

"But it's the school's job to educate my children." That statement is partially true. But it is YOUR job to be a PARENT to your children. And effective parenting does not drop a kid off at school and say, "Make my kid smart." Effective parenting does not drop a kid off at church and say, "Make my kid good." Effective parenting does not drop a kid off at the YMCA and say, "Make sure my kid has fun." The school, the church, the YMCA — these are all important ingredients in the healthy development of a well-adjusted, well-rounded child. However, as important as these institutions are, they do not absolve you of your responsibility, as parent, in the education, spiritual training, and social development of YOUR child.

I'm not saying that you have to spend three hours every single day down at your child's school (though some parents do this, and even more!). I'm not saying you have to volunteer to be President of the PTO and room mom for both of your kids' classes at the same time (though my sweet wife has proven that this is quite possible, and has handled those positions with remarkable grace). I'm not going to sit here and pretend to be any kind of authority on the subject, providing you with a checklist of every item that you can do that will guarantee your child a successful education and a prosperous future. I wish it were that simple!

What I WILL do, however, is encourage you to experience the joy that Susan and I have experienced by being involved in our children's education. Get to know your child's teacher. Volunteer to do little things to help out (even things that can be done on YOUR time, even with YOUR busy schedule -- you may be surprised at the many and varied ways you can contribute to your child's classroom). Take a lunch hour and eat with your child in the school cafeteria. I am six-foot-four-inches tall and a pretty big guy, so if I can squeeze into the cafeteria benches at the kindergarten, then I KNOW you can! Ask your boss for a few hours off, to go on a field trip with your child's class. Even if you have to make up those hours at a later time, it will be worth it.

These are just a few simple suggestions. The key is simply to make yourself available. Let your child's teacher know, right up front, that you want to be involved in your child's schooling. Nothing will make her smile faster or bigger! Sure, make it clear what your limitations are, but make it equally clear that you have no intention of being a "hands-off" parent when it comes to your child's education.

No one ever said that being an effective parent would be easy. Most things in life that are really worthwhile, are NOT easy. But I can promise you that the rewards of working hand in hand with your child's teacher will far outweigh all of the inconveniences. Please, for the sake of your children, don't let "back-to-school" be something they experience by themselves. Get involved. You will be glad you did.

Paul O'Rear is Ashley and Justin's dad.